


I Miss the Sun (that we once felt)

by JaggedHearts



Series: Winteriron Collection [8]
Category: Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Angst, Anxiety, Bullying, Hurt Tony Stark, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, M/M, Missed Chances, Panic Attacks, Steve Rogers is an ass, Teen Angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-08
Updated: 2019-12-08
Packaged: 2021-02-26 05:01:52
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,774
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21718105
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JaggedHearts/pseuds/JaggedHearts
Summary: Tony Stark, the glasses wearing, sweater loving boy, had loved Bucky Barnes from a far for years.Bucky Barnes had watched Tony from the shadows that followed him everywhere, shadows that would never let him leave.Inspired by Aaron Carpenter’s song Chase.
Relationships: James "Bucky" Barnes/Tony Stark
Series: Winteriron Collection [8]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1306712
Comments: 9
Kudos: 196





	I Miss the Sun (that we once felt)

Tony tugged the sweater tighter around himself as he watched Bucky smoke a cigarette while leaning against the school wall.

His trademark black leather jacket was slung across his arm, the weather being way too hot for jackets. Yet here Tony was in all his sweater wearing glory as he rushed inside the school, Rhodey trailing behind him.

He kept sneaking looks at Bucky from the corner of his eye. Next to his long-time crush was Steve Rogers, a massive football player and best friend of Bucky’s. Tony envied how everyone seemed to love the blond. He was easily likeable with his easygoing attitude and his ability to see the good in everyone.

Well, everyone except Tony. Tony was the devil rich boy in Steve’s book. Rhodey called it him seeing only the image Tony seemed to ooze, despite being a small teen that was deathly afraid of everyone. But apparently no one outside Tony’s friend circle could see it.

He startled from his thoughts as Rhodey wrapped an arm around his shoulders, jumping slightly at the sudden touch. All Tony’s friends knew his situation at home and made sure to announce their arrival when they were about to touch the small brunet.

“Sorry, you were speeding ahead looking ready to cry, so I thought I’d get you out of your head,” Rhodey opened the glass doors. “What’s up?”

“Nothing,” Tony muttered, hunching in on himself. Rhodey frowned as he watched his best friend rub his wrists together, hands hidden inside the large sweater. The taller boy could barely stand to be in a t-shirt, much less a sweater.

“Ignore them,” Rhodey nudged Tony’s shoulder as he steered him towards their friends.

Clint noticed them first, excitedly running towards them. He grabbed Tony’s hand and pulled him along, a startled look on the brunet’s face. “C’mon! C’mon! Bruce returned from his India trip.”

The news seemed to make Tony’s day as the old gloom disappeared, replaced by joy at the return of his “science bro”. “Really?”

“Yeah, he’s with the principle right now but he’ll come back soon!” Clint pushed the smaller boy into Nat’s arms, the red head wrapping her arms possessively around Tony’s shoulders. It was their signature greeting. Tony would slump against her, tension draining from his body.

“Hi, _krolik._ ” Natasha greeted him. She turned Tony around by his shoulders, searching his eyes. The boy tugged his sweater tighter around himself as Natasha asked, “Rogers?”

Tony wondered again how well Nat could read anyone. Nobody really knew where she had come from, but one day she had sat next to Tony at lunch. And where Nat went, Clint did, too. Recently Nat and Tony’s other red head friend, Pepper, had started exploring if they could possibly have a relationship. So far it was going great, but Pepper always needs stable statistics. Tony truly believed she’d take over the world one day.

Nat’s eyes flashed dangerously as Tony, unaware he did it, rubbed his wrists together. Tony could only dream what torture Nat would one day unleash on the blond athlete.

“Don’t maim him too bad, yeah? Our school still needs their Football Captain,” Tony laughed nervously.

“Not too badly,” Nat smiled at him, all sharp teeth. Anyone who underestimated the red head would be in a world of surprise. “I’ve been needing a reason to knock some sense into his stubborn head.”

“You know, people are saying he’s dating Sharon Carter right now. They’re like third cousins.” Clint butted in. When the three of them turned towards the blond, he shrugged all false innocence.

“Yes, who cares. Carter is that annoying head cheerleader that only got into this school because her aunt is an important woman.” Nat scoffed. “She pretends like she’s better than everyone else. Now that I think about it, they’re perfect for each other.”

“Hey, c’mon guys.” They all turned towards the small brunet. “Let’s- just don’t talk about them like that when they’re not present.”

“We all know you’re in love with Barnes-” Nat ignored the spluttering, “but you don’t have to like everybody that Barnes interacts with. They’re most likely assholes like he himself is.”

Tony glared at one of his best friends, “he’s not an asshole.”

“He kind of is.” Rhodey unapologetically informed him. “C’mon, we gotta go to class.”

“He isn’t an asshole, guys!” Tony insisted, a small fire burning in his whiskey eyes. “You guys don’t even know him! So, you shouldn’t say anything like that.”

“So, what gives Rogers the right to talk shit and hate you when he doesn’t know you?” Nat argued.

“He doesn’t even want to know anything about me, so it doesn’t matter.” Tony muttered under his breath. “Come on, class starts in a few minutes.”

Rhodey wrapped his arm back around Tony’s shoulders, tugging the smaller boy towards their classroom, Nat and Clint trailing behind.

By lunch Tony wanted to just pile more clothes on his body. His anxiety had gone through the roof, in just a few hours. He was scratching his arms and legs so much that they’d probably turned red, if not started to bleed.

He was thankful for Rhodey not noticing his scratching. The other boy had been focused on the lessons, having missed three days last week and almost falling behind. If he had noticed, Tony would’ve got the lecture about hurting himself, accidentally or not.

He loved Rhodey with all his heart, but sometimes he wished to just be left alone. Every time he wished like that though, he would get an immediate feeling of sickening guilt. Rhodey had gone through so much just to stay Tony’s friend.

Now though, Rhodey would focus mostly on his wellbeing, as would Natasha and Clint. They would surely see how close Tony was to a full-blown panic attack. He just wanted to crawl into a hole and not get up.

Tony sat at their signature table as Rhodey headed for the line. It showed how lost in his head the other boy was, as he noticed Tony hadn’t gotten food only when he sat down.

“Tony,” Rhodey looked at him sternly. “Where is your food?”

Tony looked down at the table, fiddling with his sleeves. He didn’t have any money that he could buy food with. He could feel Rhodey’s heavy gaze on the side of his face. Tony was never more grateful for his hair, it’s length just covering his eyes behind a curtain when his head was downwards.

He could hear the held back anger in Rhodey’s harsh inhale. “Here.”

Tony glanced up as Rhodey split the food on the plate in two equal piles. The larger boy held a second fork to his best friend. He gingerly took the fork. After only a second Tony attacked the plate. Rhodey’s mouth moved up to a sad smile. Only he would know this was Tony’s first bit of food since yesterday’s lunch break.

“Hey, Stark! You so cheap now that you have to steal your friend’s food?” Rogers’ voice boomed a few feet from their table. Tony closed his eyes as the fork started shake in his hand. Rhodey wrapped his fingers around his shaking hand, the other grabbing the one in his lap.

“Hey, Rogers! You think that shit is any of your business?” Tony heard Nat yell from the other direction, her steps audible as she ran towards them. Tony opens his eyes just to see the red head throw a punch at Rogers. A harsh crack rang through the silent cafeteria as Rogers nose broke.

“What the fuck!” The blond held his nose, red sweeping from between his fingers.

“Maybe mind your own fucking business in the future so you won’t get beaten up.” Rhodey said as he rose from the bench. Tony jumped up, ready to hold his best friend back, as Clint grabbed his shoulders, effectively holding him in place. Tony was shaking like a leaf.

Tony saw Bucky turn around the corner, just as Rhodey punched Rogers in his eye. Tony closed his eyes in horror and defeat. This was the last time he’d ever be able to look at Bucky without getting glared to death. The other boy would hate for letting his friends do this to Rogers.

“Hey!” Bucky yelled, “What the fuck’s goin’ on here?”

“This _Сукин сын_ , is putting his nose where it doesn’t belong.” Nat snarled. “He has no reason to attack Tony yet does it constantly.”

“Come on, Stevie. Again?” Bucky threw his arms in the air. Tony couldn’t believe what was happening. Bucky wasn’t mad? “Didn’t I tell you to stop bullyin’ Stark?”

“It’s fine!” Tony yelled out suddenly, startling everyone. Bucky’s icy eyes turned to him, the ice melting to the pure softness in his eyes. It made Tony swallow, hard.

“Doll, it’s not fine. This stubborn ass doesn’t understand that rich kids usually have problems too, sometimes more than poor people.” Bucky smiled softly at him. Tony felt like he couldn’t breathe.

“What game are you playing at, Barnes?” Nat hissed out, her Russian accent peeking through.

Bucky held his arms up, “ain’t playing a game. Just giving insight to why he’s an idiot.”

Rogers’ “hey!” went unnoticed.

“Excuses. You are giving him excuses.” Clint piped from behind Tony. Bucky lazily lifted his eyes from Tony’s to Clint’s.

“Maybe,” Bucky shrugged. “Does it matter? You’ll still think he’s a bully.”

Nat stared right through him, then turned back to Rogers, kicking him in the stomach before returning to Tony’s side. “You okay, _krolik_?”

“Yeah, I’m fine,” Tony shakily informed the fierce red head. Clint rubbed his arms, providing wordless comfort.

Under Rhodey’s watchful gaze, Bucky collected his bleeding best friend from the floor. Rogers groaned through the whole thing. Tony couldn’t help the guilt that burned his conscience.

“No need to feel guilty, doll.” Bucky smiled softly at him, causing that hurried beating of his heart to start back up. “I’ve been getting his ass out of fights since he was a skinny little kid. Back then it was easier to think he was right, fighting bullies and all.”

Bucky glanced at the half-lucid blond hanging off his shoulder, “These days, I don’t think even he knows what he’s fighting.”

The brunet threw the group one sad smile before dragging his best friend off to recover.

Maybe in some other universe they would’ve gotten together in the end, but in this one they both were too afraid of what the other thought, missing their chance.

Years later, when they were both in a better spot, they would bump into each other in the busy streets of New York.

**Author's Note:**

> Russian:  
> кролик (krolik) - Bunny  
> Сукин сын (Sukin syn) - essentially Son of a Bitch
> 
> [ **My Tumblr** ](http://www.tumblr.com/blog/jaggedheartstrings)


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